Oh boy... he's not even 2 years old and every day is more and more challenging. I don't need to say how much I love AJ and how happy I am to have him in my life, but I do..and I am. And because I love him so much, I will ensure he grows up to be a nice boy. And a good person.
AJ's favorite word is "NO!". Everything is no.... "AJ, do you want to draw?" NO! "AJ, do you want to go outside?" NO! (I know that he DOES want to go outside, because that's one of his favorite things to do.) And he's just got this serious temper! If he doesn't get what he wants- he FREAKS out. He breaks down crying. I know it's normal for his age, but it's just exhausting. I feel like I'm always being the "bad guy" and always telling him no- and as I type that I think- "I wonder where he gets it?". I wish I didn't always have to say no, but I can't allow him to climb on the dog, run into the walls with his toys, purposely spill water on the kitchen floor, and spit out his food right in front of me when I ask him not to. The list goes on and on. Today, when he woke up from his nap, he was already batting at his blanket and animals in his crib. I KNEW that the rest of the day was not going to be good. He's just really tough!
So, back to punishment. Well, lately, not a day goes by that AJ isn't in time out. I still don't quite think he gets it, but I'm sticking to it. I know I just have to be consistent.
And... I am NOT proud to say that I have spanked AJ a few times lately. Of course it's not hard and it's always on his diaper (over his diaper and clothes), but I just can't allow him to hit other kids, pull their hair and just plain be a bully. The few times I've swatted him, he's broke down in tears and then he's turned into a happy boy. He gets it!
I have always said that I would not spank my kids. I just never wanted to because I think- how is hitting him (on the butt of course) showing him NOT to hit? And I still think that. But, it does get the point across.
So- after rereading this, I feel like it sounds like AJ is some horrible child. He is not! He's wonderful! He's just a challenge :) He keeps me on my toes- thats for sure!
I love him :)
Us3
4 comments:
I can't tell you how thankful I am that you wrote this post. I am in the SAME boat with Kara. She is SO NAUGHTY...SOOOOO VERY NAUGHTY. Today I almost lost my voice from yelling at the kids and I had the WORST mama guilt afterwards...plus my head hurt. :(
Kate- I hate admitting this but I also "spank" when necessary. I know a lot of people are against this form of punishment BUT I agree that it works. I use time outs ALL the time but when Kara bites or hits, she gets a slap on the hand or tush. Most times she gives me an evil eye and walks away. Ummm yea. She is one tough cookie...I am going to have my hands full with this one when she gets older, I can tell already!!
Sorry this is turning into a novel. Just know that I totally understand what you are going through. You are doing a GREAT job and AJ WILL be a better person because of it. Stay strong mama! You will SURVIVE the terrible twos, troublesome threes, etc. ;) I PROMISE!
Email me anytime if you want to chat...I am here to listen. :)
I'm so sorry that AJ's giving you a run for your money Kate! I was going to say that it must be a boy thing, but then I read Bobbi's comment. LOL Looks like little Kara is going through it too.
I was spanked as a child and hated it. I never told myself that I wouldn't spank my own chidren, because honestly, when I think back at my childhood I sometimes only took my parents seriously when they did spank me. Otherwise I was a smart off and acted out. so I can see how it works. BUT with that being said, I think that it doesn't work obviously when parents get out of hand with it and it turns into unnecessary physical punishment or abuse.
I haven't had to spank Preston yet. Well, I take that back. I did swat him on the diaper once but it wans't very hard at all and I don't even think he noticed it LOL. It's just that right now Preston is going through a huge mimicking phase. He hits if we hit, which usually we're just playing but he hits back pretty hard. So he obviously does not understand the difference between playing and not playing. I'm afraid if I started to spank him at this stage that he would hit back.
Fortunately Preston is usually a pretty good kid. I have only had to put him in timeout 3 or 4 times ever. But I've found it has a lot to do with a) if he gets good naps and lots of sleep at night, b) what he eats, and c) if he's getting enough attention. I've found that he acts out of I am not giving him enough attention and I have to stop what I'm doing and realize I just need to spend more time playing with him.
Can I just say I'm soooo excited that he's getting a little brother? LOL Oh my goodness...they'll play together! Hoepfully not fight together....oiye!
The other day I heard that the hardest most challenging time for a mother is when her kids are little. Hang in their my friend! You are an AWESOME Mom!!!!!
The little guy needs direction but most of all he needs to know that there is consistency in his life...if he does X, he HAS to know that you will do Y. Doesn't really even matter what Y is...it's the consistency issue showing him that you mean what you say. As his understanding deepens, so will the consequences for his actions. Know that he is all boy...happy, healthy and well loved. He's experimenting and sometimes he's the teacher...and other times he's the student...then there are those 3am mornings when he's just the mad scientist! ;) Keep telling him you love him and remind him that young boys don't act that way...you might even stop giving him yes/no choices. "We're going to walk Buster. Would you help Mommy get Buster's leash?" It's time to eat dinner; would you help Mommy put the napkins on the table?" Those sorts of things worked much better for me...even if it WAS more than 30 years ago! :) Hang in there!
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