Last night AJ was with Jason and he's with him again tonight. I don't typically see AJ on nights he is with Jason - and vice versa. There's probably more reasons than this, but doing this can make things a little emotional, confusing and tough on AJ. It does seem to throw him off a bit. I certainly can't blame him. However, there are times- like tonight- when it has to happen.
AJ was already at school and Jason and I met there. I got there first and AJ was excited to see me, but I could tell he was already a bit confused. "Mom! Did you come to pick me up? Am I going to your house tonight?" Right then I knew this wasn't going to be easy. Over the next few minutes, I tried to explain to him what we were doing. That Mommy and Daddy were going to meet with his teacher to talk about his school and everything he is learning. He didn't want to listen to me. He whined, he cried, he wanted a lollipop, and when his buddies came up to talk to us, he put his head in my neck and was sad. It's a tough spot to be in as a parent. I want to hug him and hold him and make sure he knows everything is ok. I want him to know how much I love him (WE love him) and I wish I could tell him that I want to take him home with me. I want him to not be sad- to have me watch him play with his buddies and be the kid who he is when I pick him up on a normal day. But, I also don't want to baby him. It can be rough.
So, when Jason arrived, AJ was sad again- not to see Jason of course- but because he knew that the rules weren't changing. I certainly don't mean this against Jason, but typically when we are all three together, AJ is fixated on coming home with me. He doesn't have a bit melt down or throw a fit, but he asks if he can come home with me. It was the same tonight. Jason said, "Hi buddy!" and AJ put his head in my neck and told Jason he wants to come home with me. We just kinda change the subject and move on.
Once we got it together we went into his classroom and all sat down and talked with Miss Tyann. She pulled out some of his work that he did from a few months ago and some work he's done more recently to show us his improvements. She said he's doing great. She showed us some of the things they do to learn (for example, they don't call the letters by their names, they call them by their sounds) and went over the numbers he knows and how he counts. He has gotten much better at holding his pencil and improved greatly on writing or tracing his letters and numbers.
I asked her how he is doing emotionally and I was happy to hear that he seems to be doing well. I could tell that I made her uncomfortable with the question, but it was an important one. She asked if we have a parenting schedule- I told her about ours- and she said he typically knows who's going to pick him up. She said he's not whiny or overly emotional. He's super polite and always uses his manners. He gets along well with other kids too. Not surprising, but good to hear of course.
When it was over, we all walked out together and while AJ still wasn't cheery, he was better. Jason told him what they were going to do tonight and AJ was happy about it. He gave me a big kiss and hug goodbye and got into Jason's car without any problems. It breaks my heart that we can't give AJ a "normal" family- whatever that is.... I wish so badly that things didn't end up the way they did for his sake, but I have to remind myself that all things considered, this is for the best. He has two parents who love him more than anything in this world. Two parents who genuinely care for each other and have NEVER spoken a bad thing about each other in front of him. AJ and I talk about Daddy every day. We talk about what a great Daddy he has and how much his Daddy loves him. We talk about the fact that we're still a family, even if we don't live in the same house. I am confident that Jason says the same things.
Anyway, enough emotional stuff. I know this blog is usually not full of emotion unless it's about AJ and what he's doing. I find I tailor the blog to my audience and that bothers me sometimes because at the end of the day, I need to remember that this is my blog about my kid. I'm going to work on it being a bit more emotionally honest in the future.
So, here are some pictures of the work that AJ's teacher gave us (hard to read in the photos, sorry!):
|Not totally sure the date this was done, but thinking it was late last year?|
|This was done April 2012- improvment in naming colors, shapes, writes his name and holds the pencil better.|
|Tracing numbers in January 2012|
|Tracing numbers April 2012|
|Tracing his name on the left and center. Writing it himself on the right. March 2012|