MORE Change

AJ has become very good at handling change. Well, he doesn’t really have a choice, but I suppose he could act unhappy, hit, be cranky or seem different but he hasn’t. In fact, Jason and I believe that so far, we have raised a polite, smart, happy, fun loving, all around good boy. I am so thankful that Jason and I get along as well as we do because this makes everything easier for him and I, but especially for AJ. He’s our NUMBER 1 priority.

This past weekend, I moved back in with my Mom and Dave and Jason moved out of his condo and back into the house. It was an emotional weekend for me- I loved that house. We had many great memories there and I loved my neighborhood. I remember when we bought it; this was going to be my “forever” house.  Also, being 34 and a mother, it was/is tough for me to go back to living with Mom. It’s certainly an adjustment, but I am so thankful to have a place to go to get back up on my feet again. I really don’t know what I would do if my mom and Dave wouldn’t have offered this.

What this means for AJ is that “Mommy’s house” is now “Daddy’s house” and Mommy now lives with Mamna and Papa. It’s a hard concept for him to grasp. On one hand, it’s great that he still has the same house that he’s always lived in (Daddy's house). On the other hand, I know he’s confused about where Mommy lives and why we are always at Mamna and Papa’s house. He loves it there, but of course isn’t used to living there. The other night, just before bed, he told me he wanted to go to Mommy house… Broke my heart. I keep reminding myself that he is only 2. He doesn’t understand this and he won’t remember it either. I tell myself this is a good thing.

My plan is to get back on my feet quickly and get my own place. Mommy’s house (or condo, or townhouse, or apartment). As much as I appreciate being able to stay with my Mom and Dave, we all know that this is temporary. So, I’m searching very hard for a new job that will allow for AJ and me to move into our own place- even something small for a year or so will be fine by me. I’m not looking for my new “forever” home just yet. Obviously, the economy is crappy and good jobs are hard to come by, but I’m looking. My past experience is mainly in tech sales, but since I got my Marketing degree, I’d like to try and use it.

Happy Halloween!!!

AJ as Yoda :) :)


And his crazy mother...as white trash

So Thankful

Every day I think to myself how lucky I am to have such an amazing little boy in my life. I honestly cannot imagine my life without him. He brings me so much joy and happiness. He makes me laugh, makes me cry, makes me think, and he challenges me.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been hearing stories about families who have been struck by horrible tragedies and each one of them break my heart and remind me just how lucky I am to have my life- even on the days when things are extra tough and seem unfair- I am lucky because AJ and I, along with the rest of my family, are healthy.
There’s a story of a family in Orange County who in May 2007, lost all 3 of their children in a car accident. Reading that story back then was absolutely devastating. I followed it online for months just wondering how something so horrible could happen to these people. Yesterday, the family- along with their 2 year old triplets- were on Oprah and as sad and devastated as they were- they were surviving. It really showed me that if they can get through that horrible time, anything is possible.
Then, there’s another story of this little boy- a little younger than AJ- who has had an aggressive form of cancer since he was an infant.Click here to read his story He has spent most of his life getting pricked by needles, at doctor’s appointments, in hospitals, and laying in a bed with a feeding tube. He’s not even 2! Being a parent, I don’t know how I could possibly watch all of this happen to my son. I guess when you have no choice, you do what you have to do. I know when AJ gets a black eye or has to get a shot, it breaks my heart, so I can’t even fathom how they handle this.

There have been many times over the past year when I didn’t think I could handle what was going on. HOW could I survive being a single mother? HOW could I possibly work full time and not be home with AJ 24/7 like we were used to? HOW could I move out of the house that Jason and I bought 4 years ago? HOW could I go days without seeing AJ because he’s with his dad? But now, since I have been able to do all of those things, I realize that all these things weren’t nearly as bad as I imagined they would be. AJ and I are happy and healthy and going strong. I see good things in our future and I’m so incredibly thankful that I’m his mom.

We Carved...

I'm going to be really honest here...I wasn't quite sure I wanted to carve pumpkins alone...with a 2 year old...who's favorite words are "I DO IT!!" It felt stressful and not fun to me. But, on the other hand, how do I NOT carve pumpkins with AJ days before Halloween??? So, tonight I decided to go for it. I put on my "patience hat" and we did it. And of course, it was fun and not stressful at all! AJ didn't really get it, which was ok, but he had fun helping me clean out the insides of the pumpkin and I even let him use a real knife- well, the kind that come in a pumpkin carving kit- still totally sharp, but he did well. We decided on the shapes of the eyes and nose and ears together and then I cut them out. It was a ton of fun! Here are a few pictures from our evening:

Working hard!

Cleaning it out...

Cheese!!!

 The finished products!

The pumpkin AJ made at art class with Mamna today :)

Pumpkin Patchin'!

Yesterday Mamna, Papa, AJ and I went back to Anderson Farms Pumpkin Patch. It was a lot of fun! It's so pretty and so well put together there. This time AJ was lucky enough to go on TWO pony rides! He just loved being a "cowboy". Here are a few pictures:

I Knew It..

AJ's been asking "Where Pop and Grammy Cory go?" I've gotten a few things out of the closet in the guest room where they stayed and AJ, for some reason, has been in there with me. Each time he asks about them. It's bittersweet actually. It makes me so happy that he thinks about them and remembers them, but sad that they had to go home. We miss Pop and Grammy Cory. :)

Visit with Pop & Grammy

This weekend we had visitors! Pop and Grammy Cory came for a quick trip and we LOVED seeing them. Sadly, Grammy Cory got a stomach bug and wasn't feeling great, but we made the best of it.

Friday night we picked them up at the airport and came back the house. We laid low and just caught up on each others lives. Then, Saturday morning we all hung around the house, watched some Caillou and had breakfast. AJ truly remembers both Pop & Grammy and would ask for both of them each time they weren't in the room. "Where Pop go? Where Gammy Cory go?" It was great. It didn't take any time for them to get reacquainted.

That afternoon we headed to this little harvest festival not too far from the house. We went on a tractor ride, saw some horses, sheep, cows and other animals and then AJ got to go thru a kid-sized maize. He had a lot of fun!

Sunday we didn't do a whole lot, but we still had fun. Pop & AJ watched football together- which I think they both enjoyed- and then we did some early Christmas shopping for AJ.

Today we had to say goodbye again, and it was sad. I know tomorrow AJ's going to ask where Pop and Grammy Cory are... I am just so happy that we got to see them and AJ loved giving them both big hugs and kisses before they left.

Pop and AJ throwing parachutes off the landing

p.s. as you can see, AJ's not too thrilled by the camera these days- he doesn't like to look at it.